To Want A Kiss
by Wasipi
Summary: She has willingly given up her freedom in order to prevent the Cullens and Wolf Pack from being killed but can she convince him to let her go? Now she must recount her tale of her part in protecting Bella & Nessie, becoming Jacob's sun, uncovering the truth, and dealing with the fact that she is only a human in a supernatural world. Jacob/OC & slight one sided Jasper/OC & OC/OC
1. Chapter 1 Tell Me A Story

**Chapter One: Tell Me A Story**

My heels clicked with each step as I walked down an endless brick hall. Memories flooded my mind. I sniffled slightly as I got closer to my destination my hands trembling involuntarily with each step out of fear. I wondered what he was doing, if Jacob was even looking for me. That is if Bella and Renesme would even let him. I can still remember exactly the way he looked when he found me after I had abruptly left La Push with out telling anyone from the rez. I was surprised that he had slipped past Renesme with the tight leash she had on him lately.

_**(Two Days Ago)**_

_I woke up to infuriated voices somewhere in Alice's antique British Columbia house. I scrunched my nose thinking about how there hasn't been a single time that Alice and Jasper have ever fought. Well at least not with in the short time that I had known them. I heard another male shout. My heart froze and a cold chill slowly made its way down my spine. I tried to get up but every movement took too much effort, everything was so slow and forced._

_I walked down the stairs unable to actually feel any part of my body. I had to actually remember to breath. My body betrayed me. I wanted to be strong and sarcastic. I wanted to be untouchable. But that wasn't me. I wasn't that emotionally strong. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw exactly who was arguing._

_Jacob stood tall and tense. His fists were balled up slightly shivering as he glared down at Alice and Jasper who leered back equally as vicious. That moment only lasted a brief second as all three of them turned to look at me. I briefly noticed the concerned and wary look on Alice and Jasper's faces. All I could really notice was the hurt and betrayed expression etched deep onto Jake's eyes. He took a deep breath and stared back at me fixated and unsure. I momentarily wished I knew what I looked like, what expression I held. At that moment I couldn't properly feel, I just simply existed._

3 3

My breath was caught in my chest as I snapped back into reality. I felt my entire body quiver as I stood at the entrance of the elaborate dining hall. The two overly large wooden doors lead the view of a small circular table. There seemed to be some carvings on the legs which twirled downwards making a heart shape as it touches the floor. The two opposite standing chairs mimicked the odd style.

Candles and broad fire place that could easily fit a small car lit the room. The light danced across the stone walls and the maroon drapes that covered the windows. The room itself was just too big and made me feel small. It reminded me of the time I took a trip out to Hearst Castle; this place was the picture of wealth. Everything was elaborate and detailed down to the carved wood beamed ceiling with medieval engravings of knights and horses to the rose print wallpaper.

But nothing compared to the man standing at the complete opposite end of the room. 'The Roman' as I have come to call him in my mind since I have yet to learn his name. His stature was relaxed as he leaned against the frame of the door staring at me. His expression frightened me. He was waiting for something, or rather expecting something. A small smile played on his lips as he stood straight and walked toward me in brisk long strides. His confidence berated those of anyone else I have ever met including that of the Cullen's and the wolf pack.

Each step echoed as he closed the distance between us. Even in the dim light his hair still shone its sun kissed highlights contrasting his dark hair. His hypnotizing sky blue eyes never left mine as they pierced through my soul. His skin was light but not nearly as pale as the Cullen clan. He looked perfect. He was perfect down to his broad shoulders and gently carved face. His sheer black button up shirt failed at hiding his well toned body down to his black pressed slacks and shinny new dress shoes.

A shiver escaped down from the nape of my neck down to my spine as he stood silently in front of me. There was only a foot of space between us as I tilted my head up to look at him. His eyes softened as he took a final step closing all distance between us, his chest upon mine. He leaned down so his mouth was mere inches from my ear.

"You look exquisite tonight." The Roman's cool breath felt completely foreign to me being only two days since I last shared a bed with Jacob.

"Thank you," for a second I doubted the words even left my mouth but his broad smile as he laced his fingers with mine told me other wise. His skin was cold and smooth like velvet but at the same time was as hard as marble, much like that of a vampire. He led me to the round table where a plate of food was laid out for me. The roast and assorted vegetables were still steaming, twirling into the brisk stale air of the castle we occupied.

He pulled out a chair at the table for me and pushed it back in slightly as I sat down. The silk blood red dress felt exotic against my skin making the situation much more intimate that what I had hoped for. It was impossible to not notice the remarkably handsome man sitting across from me. I glanced down unable to avoid seeing my own breast. The dress did wonders for them and my Roman admirer seemed to agree by the look in his eyes.

"Please eat. You have skipped too many meals already by sleeping for so long." His husky voice washed over me causing me to close my eyes briefly. The tone was similar to that of male vampires but had a more rough manly edge to it. It was as if every other vampire were a cheap imitation of him. Was he the beginning? The very beginning of vampires? The thought left a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My quivering hands made it all more difficult to eat as he watched my every move. He didn't eat. His elbows were on the table with his fingers interlaced holding his head up. As much as it made me feel even more self conscious it seemed as if he was merely remembering rather than intently watching my every move.

"You must have many questions for me," His voice startled me as I finished my food and dabbed the edge of my lips with a white cloth napkin.

"Yes," my voice was still shaken and frighten. My speech and will faltered as I was at a further loss for words. I didn't know what to expect. I had willingly gone with him to prevent anyone getting hurt or worse, dying in my behalf.

"How about we make a deal darling?" His head tilted slightly as he spoke. "You tell me how the fates have brought you to me and I will let you out back into to the world."

"You'd let me go?" I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing.

"I assume that it will be quite the story that will take several evenings to finish, oh sweet beauty of mine." His laugh bounced off the walls as he leaned back looking at me fondly. "You may not understand now but I only seek to protect you. I pray that the days you spend with me will help clear your thoughts. I gather that you have landed yourself in quite the troubled spot but only you can tell me the details. But first let's start with your name."

"Katharine Kinsella, but people tend to call me Kitty." He didn't seem all too bad. But the fact that I was just taken from everything I knew prevented me from seeing him in a too favorable light.

"A kitten you surely are, and where shall you start this tale Kitten?" His eyes slightly widen in interest as he leaned forward.

"I- …." What could I tell him. I couldn't betray them, but I was scared.

"I know of the vampires, werewolves, and shape-shifters if that is what makes you so hesitant in speaking." My veins froze as he spoke. Looking straight into his eyes I then understood that he knew far more then he was letting on. Probably even much more than I did.

"I'm not sure where to start."

"Are there several starting points or rather transitions in the story?"

"Yes, … it could start when I first met Keegan. Or when I first found out he was a werewolf and met the Cullens. Or …"

"Or?" The Roman pressed as he traced an unknown pattern onto the top of the table with his finger tip still not breaking eye contact with me.

"Or when I first came to La Push"

"You hesitate at mentioning the shape-shifters in La Push. I assume that is where the story takes an interesting turn but for the sake of story telling. Start at the very beginning. What decision first led you on this path."

"Well, I guess I made the decision back when I was in California."

"Did anything … peculiar happen? There is no such thing as an insignificant event in life."

"I, I think. I'm not sure but I did think something was kinda strange but it wasn't anything really?"

"Why was it strange?"

"He was just … very attractive and … exotic. I guess you could say it was his aura. I don't know what it was. He just had this … presence?"

"Interesting, … start your story there Kitten."

"Ok then, well I was assisting a transfer of artifacts as part of my internship for historical restoration company. ..."

**2 Years Ago**

I was planning on continuing with college after my internship with a world famous historical restoration expert that had ended. I have been offered a job but I felt that I had still had so much more to learn and the open invitation gave me plenty of wiggle room. My main area of study was among the civilizations of the Mediterranean area with some more recent interest in Japanese culture.

But there was something missing. Something inside my soul that was incomplete. It all started during a brief trip back to Los Angeles to oversee the safe transfer of an exhibit from Greece that caused this odd feeling in the very pit of my soul. Walking outside the museum and down the street I waited at the light allowing me to walk. I noticed a small printed flyer taped to the pole advertising a pow-wow. It was at that pow-wow that a simple statement from an old man that had eventually leads me on this path to the supernatural.

After buying a few kochina dolls an old man, whose wrinkles burned deep into his skin, had asked if this was my first time to a pow wow. It was, but it was his answer that would eventually haunt me. _**The drums were calling you**_. The drums had called me, he seemed absolutely certain that I couldn't say a single thing back. Some how, he had guessed correctly that I had native blood, little that it might be. My grandmother never wanted to talk about it, I had in fact found out by accident that her mother was full blood native. I never found out from what tribe. It was a taboo subject that eluded me. I was planning on leaving after my purchase but my feet wouldn't allow me. There was something else that I needed, but I didn't know what.

'The drums were calling you.' Those words torched themselves through my soul but it was the dancers that sealed my fate. Or rather _one_ dancer. The drums, the song, the dancer who's intense eyes sent chills down my spine. My eyes couldn't tear away from him. My thoughts rang and bounced off my skull, he couldn't be real, someone so exotic, so wild, ... so free. He was an Apache. He was more than just _an_ Apache, he was _the_ Apache. He was perfect, the kind of perfect that leaves you breathless. Even the slight imperfections on his face seemed to belong. I remember trying to describe him but no words could ever truly grasp his form, his spirit. I was also immensely intimidated that I avoided him for the rest of my time there. I couldn't grasp why. I wasn't scared or overly shy but I couldn't bring myself to be near his aura. To be so close that he could reach out to me. He never came to me but his eyes always met mine, _always_. He was just as hyper aware of my presence as I was of him.

No matter how much I wanted to leave, I couldn't. It wasn't until I had wandered away from the thinning crowds and towards an abandoned replica of teepee style shelter that he got close. I leaned over peering into an animal skinned covered shelter clutching my bags. Inside were fur blankets with baskets. I then felt a panic run through me. I stood up slowly, afraid. I turned slightly and then I saw him, the Apache dancer. He was much taller up close and even more stunning. His hand made it's way toward my face and gently moved a stray strand of hair away from my face. As his mouth opened to speak, I ran. I ran as fast as I could dodging people along the way. I never looked back.

It was after that day that I had searched online and found the history and archeology program that centered around the First People at the University of British Columbia. Even though I ran away from him, I still wanted to know why I had felt the way I did. I wanted to know him in some way so I chose to know his culture rather than try and find him.

(End of Flash Back)

"Interesting …" The Roman leaned back in his chair thoughtfully. "So you never returned?"

"No, I … No."

"Do you regret that?"

"Well, I guess yes. I still wonder what he was going to say."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Frustrated that I'll never know I guess."

"No, how did you feel by physically running away from him?"

"Well, …. I –I" I paused unsure as how to answer. "I felt as though I just missed an … an opportunity. I think? It was like I missed the answers. Even now I have that feeling. Like he knew something and I wanted to know too. He …. Was something I wanted to be too." My voice trailed away at the end completely unsure of myself.

"Would you say that this was a subconscious assumption?"

"Yes. Yes I would."

"Did anyone else ever make you feel that way?"

I thought carefully. I haven't really felt that way again, except. Except for the man before me. He knew something I wanted to know too, but little different. I had the opportunity all over again, however, I get the feeling that it would have been a much better situation if I had stayed with the Apache. Jacob and Carlisle gave a similar feeling but not nearly as intense, the Apache was whole other playing field. No, he was a whole different game. "Not exactly," I carefully breathed out.

"Off to bed with you. We will finish your story another time." He laughed and shushed me away with a wave of his hand. "Pleasant dreams Kitten." I wonder what he is going to do with the information I had given him?

I stood up awkwardly and walked back to my room with shaky legs. I know I had told Alice and Jasper not to follow. That I was willingly leaving with the Roman but I selfishly wished that they were looking for me. I wrinkled my nose at the thought of Bella and Rennesme. They would both be happy that I was finally gone. I had disrupted their perfect little life where everything centered around them. I snorted, even what I was doing centered around them. Gravity seemed to center around them for God's sake. But towards the end, I wasn't doing it for them.

My heart sank heavily as I reached my room. Tears pricked my eyes. At least he wouldn't have to drag me along anymore. I wouldn't be to Jacob the same way he was to Bella after Edward left when she was still human. I couldn't let him use me and continue to suck the life out of me while he waited for Rennesme to stop being so 'unsure' of what she wanted. Funny though how she didn't want him that way until I came around. But she can have him now. I smiled evilly feeling a small bit of satisfaction and thought, … but I had him first. I had him begging for me and there was nothing in my world or her's that could change that. A part of him will always be mine.

**A/N**: Thanks for reading and please leave a review of what you like, don't like, questions, thoughts & ideas. This story will be updated every other week on either Friday or Saturday.


	2. Chapter 2 Try to Remember

**Chapter 2: Trying to Remember**

A/N: Ok I'm only doing this ONCE! Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that have appeared in the Twilight Saga nor am I making any money out of this.

It seems that I might as well get used to this odd routine and just take it as it is. I have learned the hard way that school science logic does not belong in this world that I have been thrown into. Breakfast appeared out of nowhere beside my bed as well as lunch with no signs to how it got there just like the day before. I wondered of I would find another flower, dress, and note stating when to arrive at dinner. Yesterday the flower was a Lily of the Valley. Return to happiness, that's what it meant. Well that's what they mean to me anyways. When I was a teenager I worked at my grandmother's flower shop.

I walked down the hall from the library with To Kill a Mockingbird firmly in my grasp. Upon entering my room, there it was. A long unmarked white box that probably held another dress, a note, and a single red rose. A red rose, a symbol of love, beauty, hope, unfailing love, it is a common symbol of eternal life and resurrection. I opened the box carefully to examine the dress. I felt the black fabric between my fingers. It was stunning as I lifted it up examining the piece where the strap went only over one shoulder. It was a full length gown the flowed down with multiple black layers that luckily did not create a puffiness to them. (Visit pinterest and go to /pin/39336196715315764/ to see the dress.)

I dressed slowly then examined myself in the full length mirror. I looked stunning. I pulled up my thick drown hair and began to twist it into a braided bun. It was a solid color that at one time had natural highlights during a few summers that I actually spent outside. Those long summer days with my Grams that seem to almost never existed. My lip quivered slightly at the thought of my deceased grandmother. Prom time was her favorite time of year. Girls would always come over to her flower shop to have her teach them elaborate hair styles. Needless to say she turned me into a walking goddess on my prom. It was a God send difference that I enjoyed instead of always being considered 'classic' beauty, what ever the hell that means. My grandmother always told me I was born too late, that I belonged in roaring 20's with the flapper girls doing the Charleston. Looking in the mirror that was what I looked like. A flapper girl with a face that looked like it was up to no good. I grimaced back at my own reflection wishing that I actually was that kind of person that stared back at me. I sighed and rubbed my hands down my sides examining my legs. I half wondered what Jacob would think seeing me in this dress. I quickly stomped that down. No thinking of Jacob!

I hastily put on my heels and made my long trek across the mansion to the dinning hall on the opposite end. I huffed and despite my better judgment I let my mind wander back to Jacob, ironically the first thing that comes to mind is the continuation of the memory that I was dwelling on yesterday.

_***FlashBack***_

"_Kitty…" Jacob was hesitant and looked uncertain of what I might do about his sudden appearance. The skin under his eyes was dark and he looked much older than I last remembered. I hadn't been gone that long but it looked like he aged much more that what should have been allowed. _

_Be strong._

"_How did you know I was here?" I rose my chin higher looking at him, keeping calm. I felt calm. I felt empty. That is what I wanted. To be empty._

"_I asked Bella," his reply was simple as he licked his lips uncertainly. His eyes shifted back and forth between both my eyes and all over my face quickly searching for something, anything in my face._

_Of course he asked Bella! Maybe that's why Edward ran out of here so quickly after leaving me with Jasper and Alice. I never did have the guts to ask Edward if Jacob still loved Bella. If maybe all his thoughts about Rennesme were about how she was so much like Bella. That's something I always assumed. And all three of them probably wanted Edward and me no where near each other. Jacob always hated how much time I spent with Edward. And so did Bella, especially her. Funny how the tables have turned! _

_Be strong. I repeated to myself. I simply stared back, my face empty._

"_She told me what happened," he continued with a careful voice after I didn't have a response for him. He raised his hand hesitantly toward me and took a small step forward attempting to close the distance between us. "We can protect you better on the rez." _

_***End of Flash Back***_

Protect me … nothing he did was to protect me, ever. I stared at the door in front of me. I took a deep breath and opened the door which will reveal my Roman admirer. The door creaked loudly in the silent hall and there across the wide open dinning hall stood the Roman. It seems that we have already settled into a routine mimicking last night.

After dinner he leaned back and placed his hand behind his head and stared up at the wood beams above. "Continue your saga Kitten. I would very much like to hear what happens next."

(The story continues…)

After the pow wow incident I ended up enrolling at the University of British Columbia. It was there that I met Keegan. I was at Stanley Park in Vancouver, Canada sitting on a bench looking out to the ocean. It was a weekday morning so there weren't many people around. I didn't notice the burly looking man sitting down next to me. It was when he asked me if I was a student at the University since I looked familiar to him that I actually noticed. I remembered him being dashing and easy to talk to. He was also a new student. He was tall and well built with broad shoulders. His features were sharp with a rounded frame. His hazel eyes were always searching; his bright smile deceiving. One of the first things I noticed was his curly dirty blond hair that was simply a mess. Over all Keegan was cute. Sure his nose was a little squished as if it had been broken but his personality and intellect shined. Deep down despite his appearance he was a bit of a nerd, just like me.

It was all nice and dandy until the subject of ethnic diversity in America during the pre-Columbia area was brought up. I thought his enthusiasm for the subject was simply intellectual curiosity. But alas it went far deeper than I could have ever imagined. My natural talent with the words and history often lead him to drag me into his research. It was in my opinion that it was painfully obvious that many cultures including the African, Chinese, Japanese, and even Europeans had landed hundreds of years before Columbus. However, it is only through artifacts that one can tell. DNA testing on the other hand does not support this. Or so they say. I still can't understand why people can put so much faith in DNA testing to disprove the idea when more than 90% of the entire Native population died in the 16th century from illness brought from the settlers! It kinda kills the gene pool 'ya know.

It wasn't until I told Keegan that I didn't want to go to an archeological site in Brazil to start looking for some ancient written texts that may have been saved from the settlers; whom avidly made a point to destroy the native history. I remember pleading with him that as much as I would love to go I wanted to finish my semester. Education was always the most important thing to me. I loved learning new things. Part of it was also because he was vague on the 'resources' from where he got his information. It hurt that he couldn't trust me. I had assumed that on some level there was something more developing between us. But what worried me was that Keegan wasn't planning on handing over whatever he found. Back then I thought I was just over thinking things.

The situation got out of hand one day when I left to his place he was renting outside the city. I went to apologize. I wanted to salvage whatever relationship that was developing between us. From the moment I saw his tall figure leaning against the door frame I knew something was wrong. I should have left but at that time I trusted him. I more than trusted him, I wanted him. In my defense he was … well … extremely pleasing to the eye. As my little black Audi coup drove into the gravel driveway he was already waiting. It was as if he knew I was coming, and in fact ... he did. I had told him to go on without me and I would join him in couple of months for the summer. His nostrils flared and his eyes pierced right through me as he towered over me. For the first time, I was actually a bit scared of him.

Now that I think about it, I don't really remember what exactly was said between us. All I remember was rage and yelling … and how it was starting to get so dark and I didn't want to drive in the winding county streets. I loosely remember walking back to my car when he grabbed my keys from my hands in fury and threw them into the forest behind his small house. Then time slowed to a painful crawl. His eyes widened and he stood still as a statue. The next thing I remember was running. That man, that thing withered in pain on the ground. Keegan was gone and in his place was a large pitch black beast.

I didn't wait to find out, all I saw were shining white teeth baring at me. Running down the street I could hear whatever it was running behind me. I dashed into the woods hoping to loose it. May I mention that just because I am intelligent doesn't mean I'm smart. Apparently there is a difference that I was never aware of until then. Running into a forest where no one can hear you while being chased by a ravenous animal was not one of my finer moments in life. I can't recall how long I ran and it wasn't until I hit a stream that I slipped on a river rock landing in the water. And there before me stood the beast. I remember feeling heavy and unable to move. A deep growl erupted from the beast as it stalked toward me. It then hunched down he ears flat on his head as it got into clear view of me. I was sobbing from the pain and blood began to seep from my skull. The beast wined inching closer to me on its belly with its eyes widened in a pleading gesture. It reminded me of the way dogs would plead with their eyes and whine at an animal shelter to get them out. That they were sorry. He was sorry. But I was scared.

What happens next was too much of a blur. With the speed at which they fought and the head injury, nothing made sense to me anymore. All there was were flashes of color and loud noises. The battle ended with a large crash and the beast gone. There in front of me stood a woman with her clothes ripped and dirty. She turned and inched toward me slowly as if I might dart away at a moment's notice. She was the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen that I was paralyzed by her sudden appearance. She was whispering something to me as she reached to me and examined my ankle and head. The ringing in my ears made me temporarily deaf and unable to react to what was happening. She held me close to her and rocked me slightly on the ground trying to comfort me as I cried. I'm not sure how long it lasted but I eventually lost consciousness.

The next thing I remember was waking up to two every angry golden eyes. They belonged to a handsome young man with bronze hair and well carved English features. I would later come to know this man as Edward Cullen. The head injury had landed me in an unknown hospital. I don't remember much but I do remember meeting another very handsome man with flawless golden hair and pale skin in a doctor's coat. He stood next to the woman who had saved me looking down at a chart. My fuzzy memory barely recognized that he was Dr. Cullen and she was his wife, Esme.

Even now I'm not entirely sure how long exactly I was knocked out. But, by the time I did wake up is unfortunately the same time _he_ showed up. The hospital room was dark and a sloughing figure sat next to me holding my hand while resting his forehead on top of the palm of my hand. As I gasped he raised his head in an instant. Fear wrapped my entire being as the shadow leaned forward his hand came toward me.

"Baby, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you I – I, I couldn't …" Keegan's voice trailed off has his hand hesitated to reach my cheek. "I _want_ to tell you everything. But I can't, I won't."

I started at him confused since never has he ever used a pet name for me, especially baby, and I still more than slightly terrified. At that time I was still in severe denial and convinced I had a brain tumor that was giving me hallucinations and I was going to die. Either it was the medication or the fact I was dwelling on the assumption that I was going to die without ever doing anything exciting in my life; I didn't notice him move.

He was lying down next to me on the narrow bed. His entire body pressed closely against mine. Through out the entire time that I had known him there had always been suggestive undertones and lustful looks but never had he crossed the line to be anything that could be interrupted as intimate. One hand held on lightly to my wrist while his other arm supported his head while he let his fingers toy with my hair. He just stared at me with a look of discontent.

"I wish I knew what to say to make this entire nightmare better." He sighed and leaned further into me pressing his nose to the nape of my neck where I could feel his breath behind my ear. "I'm sorry for being so inconstant but I want to remember this." He wrapped his free arm around me as I laid still unsure as how to react or feel.

We laid there together in silence for quite a while. I wanted to ask what 'this' was. Did he want to memorize my smell? Holding me? Our past together as friends? I wanted to ask so many other questions but I couldn't. I was fighting to stay awake.

"I hope one day you can forgive me." He was then on top of me his large muscled arms on either side. I could feel the heat from his body that only an inch hovering above me. The darkness hid his face as he leaned down slowly and placed a light lingering kiss on my lips. I felt myself becoming more awake but he sighed and stood up walking over to my monitors. I squinted to see what he was doing but after a few seconds all I saw was complete darkness, then nothing at all.

(End of storytelling)

"Well that must have been frightening." The Romans eyebrows were raised as I lowered my eyes and blushed.

"He didn't do anything to me if that's what you're thinking. I wasn't raped." I felt defensive and uneasy.

"Did you think he was sincere?"

I kept my eyes on my lap. "I think he was, in his own way."

"Oh?"

"Well, from his point of view I guess he was doing what he thought he had to do. I'm not making excuses for him kidnapping me but …"

"He was trying to find answers and protect his family." His voice sounded amused as he waited for my reply. I wasn't sure why he was even bothering, it was obviously he knows what's going on.

"Exactly, and that is what we were doing too by trying to stop him. I don't know which one of us was in the 'right' I guess. But, … we just had our own self interests."

"No true bad vs. good in this story? Only those who do what they must. How very _Greek_ of you." His words meant something but I didn't know what. The look on his face wasn't helping either. He looked … happy and … do I dare say slightly love struck. I don't know if my sudden uneasiness was obvious but he shushed me back to bed. There was obviously something he was up to. With each step I prayed I wasn't making this situation worse for myself. Eventually my mind wrapped around the mantra 'what does he want from me?'

I lay down on the bed and wrapped myself tightly around the blankets still in my dress shivering unable to catch my breath. The full situation that I had gotten myself in to had hit me and I am absolutely terrified.

A/N: Thank you for reading and if you are a fan of the Percy Jackson & Heroes of Olympus Books check out this link to read the first chapter to MARK OF ATHENA!

disney. go official-sites/heroes-of-olympus/index

Just take out the spaces.


	3. Chapter 3 Everything Hurts

**Chapter 3 Everything Hurts**

Once again I found myself in the exact same situation, just a different dress this time. This walk down the hallway didn't get any easier. It was still terrifying. I still had no clue as to what he did when we weren't having dinner. I stopped and took a deep long breath. This was the only time I was allowing myself to think of Jacob despite my involuntary dreams or rather nightmares of him. I spent the rest of my time exploring the castle which was boarded up, impossible to escape, and doing some yoga moves I remembered. I was so conceded and had too low self esteem to allow myself to gain weight.

_*Flashback*_

… "_We can protect you better on the rez." _

_I stared at Jacob's hand still giving no response verbally or physically. The wave of hate hit me stronger. I squinted and leered at him. I could see him take a large gulp, his eyes pleading with me. Luckily Alice answered for me._

"_He may not even come after her at all." Her voice was like chimes in the distance being carried by the wind calling to me. But my eyes never left Jacob._

"_I don't want to take that risk." His response came out in one long breath. His arm was lowered but his eyes remained searching, looking for any hint of forgiveness I may have in me._

_The silence left a ringing in my ears. I don't know how long we all stood there before Jasper muttered something that just made Jacob nod. My eyes finally left his to watch Alice and Jasper leave slowly out the front door. I couldn't look at him again with out my support from them._

_I walked silently up the stairs feeling slightly betrayed by my two vampire friends. I silently hoped Esme would be upset with them for leaving me alone with a temperamental shape-shifter as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I walked back to the bathroom sitting down at the vanity and began to brush my hair absent mindedly. _

_My breathing stopped as I noticed Jake's refection in the mirror. His entire face now expressed what his eyes had shone earlier. I looked down bringing my hands to my face slightly rubbing my eyes._

"_Katharine …" I didn't look up when I heard his voice. "Please … I. Kitty, I." He paused again as I placed my hands in my lap not looking at him. "Why? Please Kitty why did you leave with out saying anything? Why did you leave me?"_

_*End of flash back*_

Why did I leave him? I'm sure that if he had asked that same question to me right now I would have thrown anything not nailed down at him. I guess this means I'm healing …. hopefully. Jacob Black will never be in my life the way I want. Deep down I know I could never face him again. I know inside it would hurt too much. I should have listened to Edward's warnings. This wasn't my world; I can't handle the things that have been tossed my direction. I had become obsessed, like Bella was. Except I refuse with every single fiber of my body to forfeit my life. Especially, with freedom with in my grasp, I will not die before I am dead. That is, if he keeps his word. At the rate he keeps interrupting my story, I may never leave.

(… the story telling to 'the Roman' continues)

Looking back at the situation I'm surprised I'm not dead. A lot of time went by between being kidnapped by Keegan and then re-kidnapped my Esme later. And from what Emmet told me I was "pretty damn lucky for a tiny human." If it was only Keegan that had been there when I had woken up after the first time I was taken; then I think eventually I would have stayed with him and not have willingly joined the Cullens. But it seems that small decisions can have a big impact on life.

I woke up in clean Spartan room with Keegen sitting in a plain wooden chair looking ashamed. He tried smiling at me but his attempt was so weak and hopeless. Whatever medication that was given me it made me hazy with tunnel vision. He leaned over and reached out to my hands that were crossed over my stomach and mouthed, _I'm sorry_. He then let out a large sigh as another strongly built man that walked slightly hunched from the shear size of his upper muscle mass as he entered the room looking extremely upset.

"We've stayed too long. Get her and get to business. The others are already annoyed as it is for the delay." The stranger's voice was rough and frightening. I could feel the venom from his words. I wanted to say something, ask anything but I just couldn't summon the will power to do so.

Keegan gave an annoyed look and turned slightly to face him. "We shouldn't have even taken her from the hospital. We're far enough for now. She –"

"Oh, what do you care? We'll get what we wanted soon enough." The stranger sneered in my direction then left with out another word. Keegan turned back to me with a pleading expression.

I could barely think or completely understand what was going on but I knew one thing for sure, that he had used me. I was targeted because I could be 'useful' not because he liked me. My chest felt heavy with pressure even though there was nothing there. I just stared at him as his face showed a panicked expression. He whispered my name but then stopped abruptly and darted out the room with a look of pure rage on his face that momentary left me in complete fear.

My hearing wasn't completely up to par and the noises outside didn't make any sense. But then again, nothing made sense anymore. The world I thought I knew was haphazardly throwing curve balls straight in my direction. All my life I had wanted an exciting life like in the books I read but this out of control and I was stuck on the ride holding on to dear life. Eventually the darkness had once again consumed me whole.

What happened next is still unclear. Carlisle never really explained to what extent my injuries were which makes me wonder if I had come close to dying. Its hard separating what was real or a dream but I remember flashes of images of Esme with either Carlisle or Edward. Then there was Keegan again, wither it was a dream or not, each image of him was distraught or panicked but there was always an undertone of guilt laced with in his features. There were others too sometimes, they reminded me of Keegan in the way they had this manly roughness but their features emanated intimidation.

Eventually, after what I like to call 'Carlisle's magic powers,' (but he prefers to call it 'advanced medicine') I was able to maintain consciousness for longer than a couple of minutes. Once again there were those angry gold eyes piercing my brain. It reminded me of a saying; health always seems more valuable after we loose it. It's the same with laptops, I always wished I had taken care of mine after accidentally killing it.

"Well, she isn't broken, … at least not completely." I stared at him blankly and he stared right back completely unfazed. "My name is Edward Cullen, it is a pleasure to meet you." The words were pleasant but his tone was flat and annoyed.

"Can we get rid of her now?" I turned my head slightly to see an extremely pissed off blond with a beauty mark that I couldn't help but stare at.

Just as she finished Dr. Cullen and Esme came in with a small young girl bouncing in behind them. She looked smug as she stood at the foot of my bed bouncing on her heels waiting impatiently. "I'm Alice, its nice to finally see you awake." I simply blinked at her and looked across the room which I just realized wasn't a typical hospital room.

Esme sat next to me and held my hand patting it gently as her husband examined my reflexes and flashed a light in my eyes. "You're at our house. Do-"

"You'll be able to leave soon." Edward interrupted Esme giving a hard stoic face. They had obviously discussed something earlier.

"She's right you know." Alice teased in a singing fashion waving a small finger in the air.

"This is ridicules." The angry blond then stormed out slamming the door behind them.

"That's Rosalie, don't mind her." Alice said with out missing a beat. She must have had to say that a lot for it to be so casual.

"Let's take this outside." Carlisle announced taking the rest outside the door leaving me alone in a strange room with an overly large window over looking several snow covered pine trees. I shifted slightly feeling overly exposed since none of the windows had any curtains.

Never in my life had thinking been difficult, but it was now. I tried piecing together how I had ended up here but I couldn't tell what was real and what was a possibly a dream. I fell back asleep thinking everything must be a dream and soon I'll wake up back in my little studio apartment near the university obsessing over Keegan again and where monsters didn't exist.

But that didn't happen.

They all later came back, minus Rosalie. They explained that I would only need to stay another day in bed then they can have someone pick me up so I could go home. Everything seemed some what normal but the way Alice's eyes quickly shifted between the others and how Esme would simple hold my hand in her icy embrace looking down at the floor. But I just simply nodded and ate a small light meal that Esme had prepared for me. Something was wrong.

The more I thought about it, the more everything seemed, wrong. The coldness of Esme's skin was unnatural but I didn't question it since that would be extremely rude, plus her husband _was_ a doctor. There eyes were fascinating. I have spent quite some time studying genetics in some anthropology classes and never have I seen people with truly golden eyes. And if there physical appearance wasn't enough, it was the facts that not once have they mentioned how or why I had ended up here. Wouldn't that be the normal thing to do if one was to house an injured stranger?

I ate a small bowl of mixed fruit slowly. Was everything I remember a dream or was it real? My first assumption would have been to automatically assume that is all an induced false memory set on to explain some traumatic event that I had witnessed, but why the evasiveness of my hosts?

I leaned back away from my plate and allowed myself to melt into my pillow. Keegan, if it was a dream or not that would make him some sort of a werewolf … and Esme. She had fought him, I think. I willed my brain to think. Werewolves really didn't have enemies in traditional mythology. But in the movie the Underworld they fought vampires. I smiled at the thought. No more TV for me!

I leaned forward took another bite pineapple and stopped mid chew. All the people I had seen earlier had white almost translucent skin. They were with out a doubt perfect in appearance and Esme's skin was so cold. I stared hard at the glass of water trying to remember how her skin felt like. It was cold and very smooth but her clasp was so gentle and loose I'm not sure if it _felt_ like a human hand or not. I closed my eyes tightly and felt as if I was spinning in one of the Mad Hatters teacups at Disneyland.

I am in the middle of Interview With The Vampire! I snorted and laughed out loud at the thought. Maybe I might stick around of Brad Pitt is involved. But then my very un-lady like outburst quickly turned into a cough as I noticed a young brunette girl with red-ish highlights standing at the foot of my bed. She looked possibly about 16 years old. Her sudden appearance was unsettling. I would have smiled but her eyes were very different from the others I had seen earlier. Despite her photo-shopped appearance which looked extremely odd, she had dreadfully plain dark flat brown eyes.

She would have been what I would call perfectly beautiful if it wasn't for the fact they she simply didn't look real. Her appearance look created too symmetrical which made her look very beautiful but undesirable. It reminded me of a study that I had helped with involving attraction. People were naturally attracted to symmetrical faces but if the faces were exactly mirror images from left and right then they person would be deemed 'pretty' but odd or not as attractive as the person's normal face. Many of the participants mentioned feeling uncomfortable and that something was just wrong about the picture but couldn't put their finger on it. One man had stated that the person should have been pretty but instead some how look ugly.

That's what this girl was. She should have been pretty, gorgeous in fact, but something just made her ugly at the same time. Plus the way she just stared at me without the common decency to either smile or wave hello didn't help with my assumption of her. I just hoped she wasn't mentally unstable. I cleared my throat and smiled. I felt uneasy as she reached out towards me but hesitated and thought better of it.

"My name is Renesme." Her voice was just as unnatural and odd as her appearance. I began to wonder if 'Dr. Cullen' was some kind of master plastic surgeon and this Reneseme was his 'perfection' project. "I have a favor to ask."

And this is where I panicked.

My heart raced and all I could think about were mad scientists who kidnapped girls and The Island of Doctor Moreau where human genetics are spliced with animals. I tried getting up quickly but the world around me suddenly grew dark from standing too fast. I felt her grasp my arms and then a bright light flashed before my eyes along with a stream of images and scenes of the Cullen family. What I saw felt churched up and I don't fall for that Brady Bunch crap either. I didn't know what was going on but she was trying to calm me down, rather unsuccessfully, and show that they were 'safe.'

Still hyper ventilating she let me go and looked at me with a scrunched up nose perhaps waiting for me to calm down. "What the fuck just happened." This was what I could come up with and apparently not the response she had anticipated. I backed away from her as she stared at me confused.

"I was just showing you that you can trust us." She said it so matter of fact as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Trust you? You just completely high jack my head and you want me to _trust_ you?"

"But I need to tell you-" She started going to towards me again with a hand reaching out to touch me but I grabbed a large ornamental candle holder from a near by end table. It was heavy in my hands but I only held it higher ready swing to make a point across to this weirdo who was trying to do some kind of voodoo mind meld on me.

"But I need your help." I grounded my teeth at her words. She showed me her odd family that did everything and got anything for her with out even asking. She obviously enjoyed it so that prevented me from lowering my 'weapon' of choice.

"Are you some sort of a social moron or do you just like acting like a bitch in charge?"

"But everyone loves me and-"

"Well I don't!"

"Why-"

"Why! Maybe because you sneaked in here, stated your name, high jacked my brain, and then asked for a favor! NO!" Silence passed between us.

"This is not how I had planned it."

"You can't plan reactions, especially if you're a social idiot!." I don't know why I was egging her on but my gut told me to keep her the hell away from me at all costs. My eyes darted around the room looking for an escape. It was either break a window and take my chances with a large drop or go through her to the door.

"But they want to kill me and my mother!" I stayed silent this time and it was clear by how she looked at me that she was expecting another interruption. "I know this is hard for you to understand –" I raised my weapon higher and took a small step forward as her eyes grew wide astonished that anyone would do such a thing to her.

"Go on," I taunted trying to find an excuse to hit her for insulting me.

"I am in danger and I think you can help us." Her words came out fast and rushed. I hesitated again. "That man that keeps trying to take you, he is a werewolf. Extremely dangerous and they have been stalking me and my mother. He was using you for some kind of research and I think that you could give us the answers as to why so we can stop them."

I couldn't but think that by "we" that she actually meant "them" which some how would include _me_. I squinted my eyes at her in a hard glare that left me satisfied as she looked uncomfortable. I wanted to hit her, badly. She had out right said what I had feared. Keegan was just using me and this little social outcast could even see it. I involuntarily bared my teeth at her wishing I was an animal that could tear her to shreds.

"Everyone that you met earlier could die." I felt my will falter as I thought of Esme. Renesme licked her lips and continued with her hand twitching slightly as if she was used to 'showing' rather than actually talking. "We could protect you from werewolves and stop them if you tell us what you know. He obviously thought you were useful for something or else he wouldn't have bothered-"

She didn't get to finish.

I swung as hard as I could straight at her head.

I missed.

She stood a closer to the door stunned. I gripped the candle stick tighter wondering how she could be so fast.

"Why would you do that?" She was absolutely astonished.

"I'm surprised no one else as tried yet." I sneered at her. I'm confused, scared, and heart broken. I am not going to put up with this weirdo insulting me.

The door creaked open suddenly and out popped Alice. She was light on her feet as she strolled to me as if I wasn't holding a candle stick ready to knock off a girls head. Maybe people do take random swings at that girl.

"Nessie isn't very good with words yet." Alice smiled at me but then turned grim. "What she said about than man being a werewolf is true. His pack has been following us around for some time and has made some attempts on us, especially Nessie and Bella. You see we are not completely human either. We're vampires but we only drink animal blood." She stopped suddenly looking dazed then did a million watt smile. "Just like in Interview With a Vampire! But with just a few non Hollywood differences." Can this girl read my mind? "All we want to know is why, that's all and if you want us to protect you we will."

"Is this all real?"

"Yes," Alice looked down as I sat on the bed. "Unfortunately, everything you saw was real."

Alice then told me everything from the beginning. How they had join together as a coven, how Edward had fallen in love with Bella and had Rennesme, and how a pack of shape shifters had started a treaty with them because of 'Nessie.' This only reinforced my opinion that Nessie had been extremely sheltered by people who would literally risk their lives and the lives of other people just to make her happy. No person can live like that and come out at least half way normal. The name Nessie fitted her since I was sure that that girl was a monster created by being spoiled beyond reason. But some how during her story I had silently agreed to help.

( …)

"Interesting …" The Roman stroked his non-existent beard thinking. " … that you would chose to stay with complete strangers rather than perhaps try to hear Keegan's side of the story." He continued to stare up to the roof stroking his chin. I said nothing but looked down at my hands in my lap. I knew what he wanted ask but I didn't want to say it. "Why?" He was looking straight at me this time. There were no distractions between our eye contact.

"I – I," I couldn't look at him in the eye.

"You were afraid of what he would say." This was not a question but a fact. "Or even what he wouldn't say. Or …" He stopped and stared off at the wall.

My night with him ended there. I curled up in my bed once again no bothering to undress. I couldn't stop it this time and stopped resisting. I cried, and cried. I had used the Cullens as a way of hiding from Keegan. The question can be just as frightening as the answer. Had Keegan used me all along? Was Nessie right when she has assumed that the only reason that Keegan would bother with me was because his pack wanted me to unknowingly work for them? Was I not worth even knowing other wise? Was Jacob using me just as Keegan had, for his own selfish reasons? Was I that easy to manipulate by everyone around me?

I cried until my eyes had enough and closed with exhaustion.

A/N: okay this looks like a lot of Nessie bashing but from Kitty's pov stuff like this will come up simply because it is part of her personality. In this chapter she is scared, confused, and just barely coming off a lot of medication. Add someone flashing images and memories in someone's head and you'll have one freaked out girl.

I'll say it now that Kitty and Nessie will not always see eye to eye on many things partly because of their clashing personalities. I didn't want this to be completely anti-Nessie but it will be unavoidable.

Nessie isn't exactly a 'bad' person in this story but she will come off that way since it is being told from Kitty's point of view. If it was from Nessie's pov then you'll have a confused rebellious teenager where Kitty will look like the bad person at times.

As for the part on Nessie's appearance and the study is true. There was a study done with similar results as mentioned. I am going off the way she was described in BD and how she looked like in the vision that Jacob had in the movie. Can you imagine actually seeing someone looking that photo shopped in real life? Also, Kitty is an anthropologist at heart so she will notice things like that, while others may not really think twice about it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

(Flashback)

"_Why? Please Kitty why did you leave with out saying anything? Why did you leave _me_?"_

_My throat felt tight at his words. My breath refused to flow easily through my lungs by it being constantly constricted in my chest with each heart beat. I was shaking slightly but I balled my fits in an attempt to stop. I scrunched my eyebrows together refusing to look at him. I wanted to say something. Anything would do at this point. But I couldn't. My mind and body had betrayed me once again._

"_You found out about imprinting didn't you?" His voice was soft and barely above a whisper. I shut my eyes tight in a lame attempt to close everything off. I gasped opening my eyes wide as the chair that I was sitting on was quickly spun around and I was now face to face with Jacob. He was on his knees with both his arms on either sides of me holding on to the sides of the chair. "I love you Katharine. I couldn't love you more. I couldn't love anyone more." His head was down as he said this not looking me in the eyes. His head then snapped up suddenly looking me straight in the eyes as if he could hear my thoughts. His eyes were slightly red as if he was about to cry. "And I am damn sure that you love me! I won't leave you. I want you in my life."_

_I shut my eyes tight trying to hold back the tears. Honestly, this is want I wanted to hear from him. I wanted to hate him and be strong but as each word he spoke struck me I couldn't help but miss him more and more. Deep down I knew I still loved him. I felt his forehead being pressed against mine but I didn't open my eyes. I bit down on my bottom lip desperately holding back a sob._

(End of Flashback)

"Kitten?" The Roman stood before me looking worried. I look horrible and didn't make an attempt to hide it. The cream flowing dress hung on to me lifelessly. I stood at the door way dazed with my eyes puffy and stinging from crying so much. Thankfully he didn't say anything as he looped his arm around mine leading me to the dinning table.

He allowed me to eat in silence as usual but once I was done the silence remained. He played with the ends of old lace placemat thinking. I simply sat there staring at him too worn out to feel the effects of awkwardness caused by breaking the social norm which dictates that I should at least try to make small talk.

"Let us take a walk." He stood up slowly and took my elbow and led me out across the opposite end. We went through a series of large rooms that I hadn't been through but I was too emotionally worn out to really look around. Everything was like a blur and the only thing that truly existed was my own pain. We reached a large open room with nothing in it. The walls were bare with faded and peeling wallpaper. He reached for an old wooden door with an ancient looking brass skeleton key and unlocked it.

I gasped at the sudden rush of fresh brisk air filled my lungs. He led me outside slowly. It was dark but the sky was clear with the stars forming the only light available. I stared up noticing that we must be very deep in the country side since the stars could be so easily seen.

Looking around I could see the deep shadows of an overgrown garden and a thick wall of trees beyond that. The Roman walked me out on a brick path saying nothing. We pasted roses and many other nameless flowers and bushes until we reached the middle which held a pair of old wooden lounge chairs. He urged me to sit down in one as he sat in the other. We both laid down looking up at the stars.

"This is much nicer isn't Kitten?" His voice was far gentler than before.

"Yes it is."

"Would you mind continuing your saga?"

"Yes."

After Alice explained most of what was going on the rest came back. Esme had a bit of a triumphant air to her while Rosalie looked at her suspiciously as if really seeing her for the first time. Simply stating that Edward wasn't happy was an understatement. His stare was harsh and although I didn't realize it then that he had probably read our minds and found out I had tried to whack his daughter.

"You are just doing this because she has the same name and resembles your lost child." Edward's voice startled everyone. Even Rosalie who I'm pretty sure wanted me six feet under was appalled by his choice of words. But this only firmly put Carlisle on my side. This caused them to have another 'meeting' away from me. And there I was once again, alone in very uncomfortable room. I think I may start developing abandonment issues after this.

The door opened quickly making me jump and in walked a large broad shoulder man with deep dimples and those same golden eyes. His stride was long and purposeful. I eyed him cautiously but he only laughed at me.

"You _are_ very suspicious of everyone. That's alright, good survival skills." His smile was wide and showed off his perfectly straight white teeth and his glistening sharp canines. "Look, don't worry about them. They'll sort things out soon enough. Always do. So what's this I hear about you maybe having some covert information so I can crack some skulls." He flexed his biceps to make his point clear. I leaned back intimidated and feeling very small. He stopped admiring himself and looked at me with his head slightly lilted and let out a loud booming laugh. "Not yours crazy!"

Alice walked in with another man. He had a smooth face with gentle curves with dirty blond hair that hung around his head in loose curls. He stayed near the door leaning against the frame and gave me a lazy lop-sided grin.

"My name's Jasper Hale ma'am and that brute over there is Emmet Cullen. It's a pleasure to have you in our home." His voice had a slight southern edge to it that could possibly be Texan. Alice swung her arms striding towards me sitting on the bed next to me. I felt calm for the first time since meeting Rennesme.

"We know this is a lot to take in. But we really need to know what the werewolves are after."

"I don't know, all he asked about were migration patterns and anomalies of early human societies in the Americas."

"That's all?"

"Well there was a lot of cross referencing, cataloging, and reading through old journals and documents. There was nothing dealing with mythology directly." I shifted my eyes after realizing I had used the term 'myth' because surly they were anything but. "But …" I paused thinking about the argument I had with Keegan before he transformed into a giant black wolf.

"Oh, that makes a lot of sense! No wonder he picked you!" Alice looked excited through her unfocused eyes. I blushed wondering what she was talking about. "I can see into the future. It's always changing but I was able to see what you were going to say." She beamed at me with a bright smile. "Even you admit that it would be very difficult for an ancient human to cross over the ocean. But if there were vampires involved then they could have surely made the trip easily!"

"But what does Nessie and Bella have to do with old sea faring humans and vampires?" Emmett didn't look convinced that this was the information that they needed.

"I'm not sure." Each word that Alice spoke was slow as she looked up into nothingness thinking to herself.

"What if it's DNA they're after?" The words came out quickly as I blushed again looking down at my hands. Keegan was never interested in myths, only facts. What if there is no supernatural only complicated DNA involved?

"Maybe …" Alice sighed. "Well it looks like we're going to have to do more research."

Research.

I don't think I ever knew the true meaning of it until after meeting the Cullens. We talked endlessly about a lot of things but it all came back to one question, Why Nessie? I was uneasy at helping them but Esme barely left my side for the next two days and the more time I spent with her, the more I began to trust her. The very quiet man, Jasper, was always around at first but it seemed with Esme around me he was needed less as long as Esme was around. I felt calm with him around as if in the end everything was going to be okay.

When Carlisle came in with Esme to talk about the possible 'why' scenario is when Edward took an eager interest in me. As soon as the words left my lips he was there at the foot of my bed staring straight at me as if I held the answer to life and he was willing to strangle me for it. "Maybe they want Nessie for breeding purposes?"

I was terrified of Edward and his hypnotizing stare didn't help. I felt Esme grip my hand as Carlisle said Edwards name in warning tone. But then everything was ok again. Jasper was at my side and I let out a large puff of air that I didn't realize I was holding.

Edward's tense body relaxed as he grabbed a chair nearby and sat down. Jasper stayed standing near me. "Why would you say that?" Edwards voice was diplomatic and clear. I felt my heart began to thump in my ears but it slowly subsided as I felt braver with Jasper near by in case Edward didn't like what I was going to say.

"Well… when it comes to old stories there really isn't much to go on with vampire and werewolf confrontations or vampire hybrids except for more recent events that was mentioned to me. Vampires hunted werewolves, I get that but that really doesn't involve Nessie even indirectly for them to single her out. But if they're being hunted and want to fight back then they would want to become stronger, bring up their numbers I guess. And from what Carlisle explained to me there is more than one way to make a werewolf and biting doesn't always give the best results. And …"

"And you think they want Nessie as a mate?" Edward leaned forward completely interested now.

"Maybe, it could be many other things or maybe a multitude of reasons. To find her weakness, another weakness in vampires in general, or maybe they see her as a threat. Maybe they know about the stand off with the Voltori and now that they know for sure that it is possible that vampires can have children that others will take liberties on that knowledge. Maybe they fear that it could form a closer bond between vampires that could ensure loyalties than compared to creating a wild unstable vampire."

"That's a lot of maybe's" Carlisle sighed. "We've tried to talk them, tell them that we are not a threat. However, they don't want to listen."

The theories went on and on. Could special abilities be past on and they want Nessie to produce a child that the werewolves could raise? It wasn't until the following day that things took another interesting twist that involved Edward to once again appear at my side like magic. Luckily by then I made it a point to follow Esme around like a little duckling. It was just a passing thought but it gave Edward the option to actually point his finger and blame someone. Alice in passing had mentioned that Nessie and Bella were close to one of the shape shifters that helped defend them, that they were really good friends. What if the friendship was misconstrued and wanted to hurt Bella and mainly Nessie as a form of pay back for a long forgotten feud.

Esme and I were skimming through some old journals that had belonged to vampires that Alice had come back with from an unknown location. Edward was then right in front of me ripping the book from my hands.

"That must be it!" He shouted as I froze in sudden terror, they _were_ vampires after all. He stared at me and gave a grin. "You're right again, I can read your mind. It's my special … gift." I felt the blood drain from my face. This was about as mortifying as being caught naked with out having shaved in weeks. His grin twisted and he suppressed a laugh. "You are interesting. But you're right. The shape shifters are known as protectors and werewolves are known for loosing control. So, naturally as you thought, the protectors may have wanted to take a proactive approach and at some point sought out and killed werewolves. And from what you know of Native mythology, there _have_ been other legends of shape-shifters and cursed werewolves. Logically there must have been confrontations."

I stood frozen staring at him. He was saying it just as I thought it. I knew where this was going. It was going from a problem caused by vampires to a problems caused by shape-shifters. In other words, this wasn't even indirectly his fault. He grimaced at me. I new he felt that same guilt for my soul. If the Voltori found out about me I would either have to die or become a vampire. Neither seemed like a good choice.

And this started our research on the First People and werewolves. It was exhausting and discouraging knowing that most of their history and stories have been lost through plagues, war, massacres, and suppression. Luckily between legends and first hand vampire account we have plenty on the different types of werewolves. Carlisle had been in contact with a pack of shape-shifters but they all seemed hesitant in even mentioning them around me. The only ones who would answer me were Esme and Alice, but even their responses were vague.

This led me to assume two possible things. One, that they are dangerous and possibly still unstable as they are 'new.' Or two, since they are self proclaimed protectors the Cullens may want to hide me from them to prevent a possible back lash for them putting me at risk. Neither seemed appealing for me, so I said nothing. But eventually I was forced to find out after I was offered up on a silver platter during a negotiation.

Carlisle and Edward wanted to excavate some areas in the pack's 'territory' but being vampires they were banned. So Edward offered me, guaranteed my cooperation and secrecy with the added bonus that I could possibly unearth additional information on their type of 'magic.' He practically put me on a pedestal and made it sound like I actually knew what I was doing.

I didn't want to go.

I was actually going over and planning elaborate escapes that Edward would roll his eyes at every time we were in the same room. We both knew I wouldn't go through with them. Esme's assurance wasn't too comforting. I didn't want to face another giant snarling wolf and I certainly wasn't about to become another little red riding hood. It was Jasper that got me to cave. With him around I knew that things were going to be ok. I had grown to love Alice but I could help the growing affection that I had for Jasper. I would agree to anything he asked of me.

Luckily Rennesme was squeamish about leaving causing plenty of excuses and delays that went on for days. Normally I wouldn't be too suspicious except for the constant phone calls that irritated everyone, except Bella. It was easy to pin this on the socially awkward Rennesme, who I have come to avoid. She was the most unsettled by each phone call and constantly whined and pouted about leaving 'south' and something about a Nauhuel.

But that left me with some free time, which was a rarity. My heart skipped as one by one the Cullens told stories and first hand accounts of how things used to be. How it was to live during the middle of the industrial revolution in England, the hope that the migration to the America's caused, Emmet's over exaggerated stories of what it was like to truly live off the wilderness, and all the stories of what it was like in early America. It was truly amazing. But what caught me the most was when Alice mentioned that Jasper was once part of the Confederate Calvary.

A real cowboy, I knew it wasn't the same but it excited me none the less. I had originally avoided asking Jasper anything. This was difficult since he always seemed to be around. He always peered over shoulders, leaning against a doorway, or sitting on the stairs. I was trying to stomp out my growing affection for him and I mentally thanked Edward for never acknowledging any of my thoughts involving Jasper. I had grown to love Alice too much to ever betray her, but that didn't stop the longing. I loved the way I felt around him, safe and happy.

He became a sort of apparition near me as I spent most of my days following Esme like a little needy child. I spent countless hours speaking to random members of the Cullen family on various topics but mainly about what the werewolf might want. No matter what the conversation there was always one silent common medium, Jasper.

It wasn't until Alice who was the first to mention Jasper's past told me I should ask Jasper about his past life since he remembers quite a bit. After she left I walked along the long photo covered hall and slowly opened the door I knew belonged to Jasper with out knocking. He sat on plush leather seat his feet propped up on an ottoman. His hands rested on his lap with an unknown book between his hands. His face had a calm expression as he stared at me patiently. I stood slightly frozen unsure of myself. A small smile spread across his face, he tilted his head slightly questioning my sudden appearance. In the two months that I have been there I have never sought him out.

I slipped into the room closing the door behind me, my hands resting behind me. "I – Alice told me a little about your past." I wanted to say something more but nothing came to me.

"Alice?" His smile developed into a wide grin, "Did she now? Would you like to know more? I've heard you asking all the others. I was wondering when my turn would be." I felt me cheeks flush at his comment, I simply nodded and took a small step forward. I stopped as he placed his book down and stood. "You've been cooped up in the house for a while, would you like to take a walk around outside?" Again I could only nod.

We walked silently to a small trail outside the house. It must have only been a couple of minutes but the seconds passing by were excruciating. He then gave his lop-sided grin and looked down at me. I remember thinking how beautiful he looked among the snowy wilderness landscape but I couldn't help feeling afraid.

"Don't worry I won't eat you." It was that simple statement with maybe one of the friendliest expressions that I have ever witnessed that began a strange bond with Jasper; one unfortunately that I would come to regret.

The days after that spanned into a mesh of laughing, joking, and research. Jasper was a huge help being very fond of history himself. Instead of him being my phantom of a follower we had essentially switched roles. I then became the one who constantly sought out his companionship when I was not with Esme.

I still don't even recall exactly when it happened, when I started falling in love with Jasper. During that time on our first walk through the woods I knew then that Alice and him were an item. In hindsight, I now see that what I did was wrong and the pain and the guilt I felt were my own creation. I should have kept a friendly distance. I'd like to put some partial blame on Alice since she was always so enthusiastic for all three of us to go into neighboring towns to shop when ever Carlisle stopped Edward from cracking his whip to make me work harder, I think my human speed annoyed him.

I never spent all that much time with the others. Rose made it obvious that I was unwanted which I still find unfortunate since Emmet officially became the brother that I had always wanted. I fondly remember one of the few times he had stayed at the house after a research mission. I had seen Alice jump gracefully up on top of an enormous tree. I simply stared up and frowned. Emmet had glanced at me sideways standing tall and intimidating next to me. I had merely sighed and shrugged.

The next thing I knew he was ginning wildly crouching in front of me with Jasper smirking behind him. Then before I could even comprehend what was happening I was on Emmet's back jumping from tree top to tree top with both Alice and Jasper laughing beside him. I clung to his neck shrieking and laughing the entire time. I had never felt to free and excited. But of course Rose wasn't happy about it. She didn't have to say anything but it was painfully obvious to me that she wasn't pleased with Emmet's attempt to make me happy. I think she was worried that if they made me happy I'd stay. It reminded me of a time my grandfather told me not to feed a stray cat because then he'd never be able to get rid of it.

It was after that little moment of happiness that Bella spent more time with me. I had once asked Alice if Bella didn't like me and was only being polite. She merely laughed and joked that Bella couldn't really connect with me because I was human. Apparently I had to me at least half supernatural to form some sort of mutual understanding between us. But Bella always tried and I think that after a while she did come to like me back then. But deep down I doubted this since her distance only increased after I came to La Push.

A/N: If you have your own Twilight fanfiction please visit my new forum Twilight Review Game! at myforums /Wasipi /1356160/

Rules are simple, leave a post with a working link to your story and then review the story posted above you!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: ***IMPORTANT!*** Okay I am very sorry but I'm going to have to put this story on hold. My other story Against All Odds is taking way to long to finish and is becoming a thorn on my side. I have been writing that story on and off again for too long and it is time to actually finish it. I will still be working on this story but strictly outlining chapters and only spending about an hour to two a week.

This chapter isn't finished but I'll post it for you guys anyway. I should be posting new chapters again for this story sometime later this year.

Chapter 5

After nearly spending two months with vampires and learning more about werewolves and shape-shapers that I would ever want, the family then came to a stand off. The amount of research we did was piled up but it seemed what really needed was to find the La Push connection that Edward was sure existed. Personal items were often buried with the dead, which could tell us a lot about them and maybe even find a journal if were lucky. Or maybe even a skeleton of a werewolf, which Carlisle assures, would have identifiable skeletal abnormalities depending on the 'type' of werewolf. Yeah there is more than one kind.

I wasn't sure but it seemed that these shape-shifters, or at least one, was more than willing to supply information to help but many lacked essential details and sounded more overheard rumors than anything else. I tried to stick my nose out of it but it seemed that there was as much internal turmoil with in the La Push pack as the Cullen clan.

Edward was more than ready to leave but always insisted that Nessie come along with the rest of the clan for protection. Even those who left to gather intel were joined up with other vampires willing to help as a form of protection from the ever stalking werewolves. She refused, time and time again. Most was really avoidance but the mystery caller seemed just as eager to have her and Bella come over. I would frown at each call thinking that this guy must some kind of pushy bastard. No wonder Nessie didn't want to go?

And that is when I started to actually sympathize with her. During the entire time she never received calls expect from the mystery caller. Her family followed her every move and catering to her every whim. As much of a spoiled brat she was she didn't have any friends, none to talk to. Now with the werewolf fiasco, she couldn't even leave the house.

My sympathy then turned to anger. No wonder she was such a weirdo, she has no life and no one to talk to because of the werewolves. They were stealing her life and the harassment from I-don't-know-when-to-take-a-hint caller didn't help.

On a dark sullen day most of the other Cullens were running around doing who knows what. They talked a lot about security but spared me many details about what was actually going on, probably to prevent a melt down that always seemed to be lurking in the corner of my mind. The phone rang in Nessie's room. I peaked in seeing her bite at her nails cringing at each ring but not daring to either move away or forward. I didn't like this. She was just a little girl, a crazy freaky mutant girl, but a young girl none the less. I strode in, anger dwelling in my chest. I just couldn't seem to keep it together.

"Hello?" Nessie stared at me in shock as I answered the phone.

"Who _is_ this?" The man's voice was harsh and clearly upset.

"I'm sure that was supposed to be my line."

"Give Nessie the phone." Her eyes went wide and cringed as she reluctantly held out her hand to the phone but I turned away and faced my back to her.

"No."

"What?" He demanded in disbelief.

"No, N-O, no. Does that clear things up?"

"Why the hell not!?"

"Well, for one I have no idea who you are and two there is no way I'm going to let a girl talk to some random, rude, and demanding man. It goes against my feminist ways."

"Who the hell are you? Tell me."

"No, I don't give my name out." I sounded confident but I thought it should have been obvious who I was but I bit back the sarcasm.

"And why is that?"

"Haven't you ever heard of stranger danger?"

The man paused, then answered slowly, "Jacob, my name is Jacob Black."

"Well, Jacob My Name Is Jacob Black, my name is Kathrin. Nessie is busy at the moment can I leave a message?"

"Ah, so you're _that_ girl. Please give her the phone; I need to talk to her."

"She's busy."

"Busy huh?

"Yup."

"Is she ok?" His voice dropped and sounded sincere.

"You should know, you call several times a day, **every** _damn_ day."

"You don't sound like the scaredy cat that they make you out to be or is it just because you're talking to me through a phone."

"Was that am attempt to threaten or scare me? I'm definitely not giving the phone to Nessie now."

"_**Why**_?"

"Because you're an ass hole." With that I hung up the phone. I turned around to see Nessie stunned and Rose grinning evilly at me by the doorway.

"Well I have to say that was pretty good. I didn't think you had it in you." Rose stood up slowly crossing her hands. "You did good, doesn't look like I need to deal with it this time but he will call back just to let you know." Rose walked out giving an evil laugh.

"Thank you." Nessie's voice was small.

"Is this guy trying to intimidate you? I swear if he is –"

"No! Of course not. Jacob would _never_ hurt me."

"Right."

"I mean it, it's just …"

I waited but she didn't answer. This was another one of many things that the vampire clan kept from me. Instead the phone rang again. I swear even the ringing sounded angry.

"Good evening, how can I help you?"

"You again?" Jacob growled through the phone.

"Yes me again, Mr. Black."

"Fine! Look you and Edward think that there is a chance that you can find out why this is happening right?"

"Edward and I do believe that there is a reasonable probability that a previous La Push pack had encounters with werewolves considering that other tribes, father away however, have similar stories of shape shifters and 'cursed' wolves that sound similar to werewolves."

"How can this help?"

"Honestly, … I don't know?"

"Great, just fucking great. Then what the fuck is all this running around and research is for?"

"If we know why then maybe we can stop this."

"It sounds really fucking hopeful if you ask me."

"Oh, it is."

"Then what do we do? Why even bother researching at all?" He sounded hopeless and hurt. I began to feel bad for being so mean.

"Well … if they want her as breeding purposes to start a war." Jacob growled through the phone. "Then we can involve other vampires … maybe. Since, well, it does involve them so they would want to kill them off before they became a threat. Carlisle told me that one of the Voltori members led a genocide against werewolves."

"Well he didn't do a very good job since this is happening." Jacob snapped angrily threw the phone.

"But if it's the werewolves that see Nessie as a threat … well maybe we can get them convicted that the Voltori will not tolerate another hybrid." I huffed in frustration. "Oh, I don't know I've just found out about all this crap two months ago!" I held the phone slightly away as I yelled. I heard a ruffle of noises in the back ground and the phone was handed over to a new voice.

"Hi, my names Quil. I'm sorry you're involved Katharine." Quil's voice was very different compared to Jacob's. "You don't deserve this, no one does. But-" His soft understanding voice stopped as he let out a long sigh. "Look Sam, his pack, and most of the elders are really upset that they got you involved and are putting you at risk. They … want to make sure you're okay, to …. Give you … well … Fuck, look I'm being kept out of loop a lot now but they just want to give you a way out and –"

"I don't want to be a vampire." I blurted it out with out thinking but was the truth.

"Oh! Great! That helps a lot, Jacob you hear that? Hey Katharine, don't worry they just want to make sure that the vamps don't bite humans anymore, especially you now. But since you're not going to push the issue this works out great. Okay … well now we just need Nessie here. Do you think you can convince her to come with you guys? Ya know since this is all about her and all." Quil was so very different with his upbeat tone.

I looked over at Nessie as she clasped her hands together in front of her and stared down at the floor. Right now, she looked more like a 7 year old kid caught being bad than a 16_–ish_ year old girl. "I think I can pull it off. _But_!"

"But?" Quil's voice was suddenly wary.

"Mr. I-don't-know-when-to-take-a-hint will have to develop some manners and learn not to be such a pushy bastard or we'll be asking other vampire covens to help instead. Maybe even the Voltori, I know for sure that one of them wouldn't need much convincing to step in." I could hear Jacob fighting Quil for the phone.

"Any other terms?" Quil's voice faltered as he was obviously hit.

"Jacob will not be allowed at or near the Cullen's house with out permission and nor is he allowed to bully or manipulate anyone under any circumstance to get said permission." There was more fighting and angry growls in the background.

"**No deal**! You have no right to keep me from my-" Jacob had stolen the phone back and practically growling the words.

"Sorry we couldn't come to an agreement." I quickly hung up the phone before he could finish. I heard a thump behind me and I turned around to see Rosalie packing Nessies' things.

"Good job, now go pack. I'll deal with the next round of negotiations; I'm defiantly not letting you get all the fun out of this." Rose's face was bright in excitement.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviews, alerted, and fav'ed this story. It really does mean so much to me! So here are some of my personal fav Twi stories here on FF for you to read while I get me crap in order. WARNING! Most are rated M and contain very mature and often dark themes.

**Two Winters and a Summer** (I like this story but it is VERY dark and deals a lot with abuse and contains rape)

Author: EssaTheTwerp

Shannon was completely in love with Embry, one of the three who chose his own path. When he brings her to meet the pack, Collin imprints and she is forced into an imprint's life - that of a prisoner. Her desperation to escape leads to his own madness.

Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Drama - Collin & Embry - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,436

**Fix Me**

Author: NobleAndAncientLineBlack

Ever since her best friend started dating Embry Call, Erin always seems to find herself in awkward situations with Jacob Black. He keeps staring at her as if she's the most amazing girl around. That should creep her out, right? So why does she like it?

Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Jacob - Chapters: 88 - Words: 232,601

**Call of Love** (Read it's companion fan fic from Quil's POV The Other Beta)

Author: LaPushWolf

They thought Paul was bad, well Embry can't even touch a girl without phasing, and its a big inconvience since he's falling in love with Anna. Quil and Seth vow to help him, but just make things more complicated. Mature/Language/Lemons

Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Embry & Quil Jr. - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,558

**The Girl with Hearts**

Author: LaPushWolf

Embry finally meets his imprint, but manages to screw up his chance with her within the first few moments. Can he possibly recover from a one night stand gone wrong?

Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Humor - Embry & Jacob - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,207

**The Anticlimactic Non Imprintment of Embry Call**

Author: Guns and Drums

"I'd accepted the fact that I was going to imprint just like my other brothers had. I'd been pretty much been waiting for it. Then one day, Sam goes and blows my mind: I might not imprint. So, I have to find a girlfriend all by myself? This sucks…" This is the piece that will attempt to combat many of the major issues I have with Twilight. Nothing is sacred. AU.

Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Embry - Chapters: 26 - Words: 288,226

**Mirrors**

Author: Cassy-Kay

Ariana moves back to La Push and meets Embry, the imprint doesn't always take to their wolf right away...will Embry be able to win her over? And what happens when Ari starts acting strange? Embry & OC imprint story. Rated M for themes...no lemons.

Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Embry - Chapters: 22 - Words: 88,606

**Howl**

Author: 96

A secret world uncovered by the eyes of an innocent. A friendship, that should have lasted eternity...broken. Be careful of the curse which falls on young lovers. Starts so soft, so sweet; yet, turns them into hunters. The path which her life must take, may lead her into the light...or the dark. But the final choice, lays in her hands. -Currently in New Moon segment

Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Jacob - Chapters: 22 - Words: 87,524

**2 is Better**

Author: Cassy-Kay

What happens when two twins switch places? Nikita is doing her best pretend to be Natalie and doesn't need a overly happy werewolf confusing things. Second story in my Perfection series, don't have to read Mirrors to read! Seth/OC imprint story.

Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Seth - Chapters: 12 - Words: 51,081

**Jokes of fate**

Author: imaginary-shadow

It is true what they say that you can't control imprinting no matter how strong of a wolf you are. This time one imprinting would destroy three lives. A girl fell in love with Seth Clearwater but he imprinted on her own mother.

Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Seth - Chapters: 20 - Words: 48,532

**Love will tear us apart**

Author: draiochta

Sonia is imprinted upon by a certain Jacob Black. What should have been love turns into hate as Jacob fights the imprint for Bella.

Rated: Fiction M - English - Drama/Romance - Jacob - Chapters: 54 - Words: 150,463

**Dealing with the myth** (I LOVE this fic, it is a must read!)

Author: Yaro85

Jan was pretty sure Paul had become a pod person. Or he was an alien in disguise. There were no other explanation to why he was suddenly being somewhat nice to her. Because Paul "I hate him" Lahote did not do nice.

Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Paul - Chapters: 69 - Words: 155,044 - Reviews: 385

**The Magic of Forgiveness**

Author: TheSecretWriter-1234

Neoma Blackfeather was tortured by Paul Lahote, her bully from hell, every day of her life. Until she moves away after a suicide comes back three years later to La push to visit her caring&spiritual grandparents. But lots have changed about her hate for Paul conflict with the fact Paul had imprinted on her? Can she forgive the boy that ruined her life?

Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Paul - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,036


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